


Social Habits of Panthera onca, the Western American Luchadore

by HandsomeManExpress (DangerousCommieSubversive)



Category: Lucha Underground
Genre: Cats, Cuddling & Snuggling, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2015-11-16
Packaged: 2018-05-01 20:55:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5220485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DangerousCommieSubversive/pseuds/HandsomeManExpress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Johnny Mundo has found some problems with being in a relationship with a cat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Social Habits of Panthera onca, the Western American Luchadore

 Johnny stares at his coat. “How do you get hair on _everything I own?_ ”

Puma shrugs, yawning hugely. He doesn't look terribly concerned about all the extra hair that Johnny's coat's picked up. Granted, he rarely looked concerned about much of _anything;_ cats don't really have facial expressions, and even when, as now, he's looking more human, he doesn't tend to emote. And he hasn't been feeling at all chatty today—not that Johnny's gotten so good at sign language that they can chat _much,_ although he _is_ working on it—so Johnny is _completely_ out of the loop.

Johnny sighs. “I need to buy an industrial-sized lint roller.”

As soon as he drapes his coat over the arm of the couch Puma stretches and then curls up on top of it.

“God _damn_ it.”

Puma just looks vaguely affronted by the fact that Johnny made a noise.

Johnny stares at him, frustrated, and then says, “You don't really match the pattern on that coat.”

Puma shrugs again and signs, <Who cares? It smells like you,> before apparently falling asleep.

“I...you know what, fine, sure. As long as you're comfortable.” Johnny sits down next to him, sighing. “Just don't claw a hole in it like you did with the other one.”

Puma opens one eye, glances at him balefully for a moment, and then goes back to sleep. Johnny reaches over and scratches him behind the ears, and he purrs, and everything's fine for a few minutes.

Then, of course, Johnny gets a text, so he stops scratching Puma's ears to answer it. It's from Aerostar, which is kind of weird. Aerostar is trying to buy a present for Drago and wants advice, which is even weirder. He squints at the text for a moment to make sure that that's _actually_ what Aerostar is asking him about, and then does his best to answer while not in any way conveying how weird he feels about it.

Just as he's hitting “send,” Puma rolls over on his back, resting his head on Johnny's leg, and swats the phone out of his hand. And as soon as the phone hits the cushion he rolls over onto it.

“Oh my _god_ you're obnoxious.” Johnny tries to get his phone back, but Puma just makes a small irritated noise and somehow makes himself heavier. “What even—does gravity just pull harder on you or something? How do you jump like you do when you're this heavy?”

Puma purrs and rolls up into a small ball, still on top of Johnny's phone.

“You know what, fuck it, I'm going to go get a snack. You want anything?”

No response at all.

“I'll take that as a no.”

It takes a moment to extract himself without disturbing Puma too much.

* * *

 

He comes back a few minutes later, a beer and a copy of _GQ_ in hand, and finds that Puma's managed to spread himself across the entire couch. Johnny's coat is half under Puma and half on the floor. His phone is peeking out from under Puma's hip. It takes some careful shoving before Johnny manages to get his seat back; Puma's only willing to move a little bit. Although Johnny _does_ manage to retrieve his phone.

He makes the mistake of putting his beer down on the floor for a moment while he gets situated, and Puma reaches for it lazily with one hand, tilting the mouth of the bottle towards himself with his eyes fixed on the moving liquid.

Johnny snatches it up just before Puma spills beer on the floor. “ _Christ,_ Puma.”

Puma blinks innocently up at him.

They settle into familiar comfort for a few more minutes. Johnny drinks his beer with one hand and scratches Puma's ears with the other, his magazine propped up on one knee. Puma rolls onto his back, purring, and presses his head into Johnny's hand.

The problem, of course, is that then Johnny finishes his beer, but he's not done with the interview he's reading, so he puts the bottle aside and picks up his magazine.

Puma only accepts the lack of ear scratches for a moment.

Then he sits up, watches Johnny for a moment, and starts rubbing his face against the magazine's corner, making the page flop so badly that Johnny can barely read it.

Johnny shoves him away gently. “Stop it.”

Puma shifts away for a moment, sulking.

Then he's back. He doesn't even bother with rubbing his face on the magazine for more than a moment, he just climbs on top of it. Which means, of course, that he crawls into Johnny's lap. And sits on one of Johnny's hands.

And then he curls up and starts purring.

“I—hey, I was _reading_ that.”

Puma reaches up and swats insistently at Johnny's free hand.

“I'm not scratching your ears, I want to read my magazine.”

More swatting.

“I hate you.”

Puma makes himself more comfortable, looking extremely self-satisfied.

Johnny sighs and starts scratching Puma's ears with his free hand.

Then, of course, he realizes that he can get to his phone again.

He takes a picture of the man in his lap and sends it to Sexy Star. [HELP]

She responds with, [if you weren't ready for the responsibility you shouldn't have gotten a cat]


End file.
